answered prayers.

about two months ago, i was freaking out BIG TIME over two things: money & a place to live next year.

i feel like it's human nature to worry over things, but honestly i feel like women worry WAY MORE than men do... or we at least make our anxiety more known. most of us wear our emotions on our faces and carry our burdens on our shoulders like as if it's Santa's sack of gifts. i confess, i'm no different. when i'm worried about something, anxious, concerned... people know.

so two months ago i was worried about money. why money? ashley - don't you have a full time job, and haven't you been able to independently provide for yourself quite well for the past year and a half? yes, the Lord has blessed me with a job, and He has blessed me with being able to budget my money as well as I possibly can as an independent single woman - and for that i am incredibly thankful. my money concern was more for the future, in about four months when i become a Graduate student and quit my full time job, yes - that is where my worry kicks in. the unknown of where the money will come from, how i will pay for my bills, support the roof over my head, pay for my car payment.... and even more, how would i pay for Graduate school?

then, soon enough the intense search for a home began. once i realized i wasn't going to have the money to stay in my little one bedroom apartment again next year, i realized i was going to have to move. so i decided to move in with some roommates to cut back on my living expenses at least. which meant, house hunting began. naturally, i kicked into turbo mode and started looking everywhere for our perfect place. words can't express how many For Rent signs and postings in the Sentinel Classifieds i called just to get the best place asking the best for rent for us girls. as time progressed i began to get really frustrated and worried. frustrated because i felt like every plan i had was killed by some corrupt joke of life, and worried because time was ticking by so quickly and there weren't many places to choose from since they were getting snatched up so fast. so, the worry took over...

in matthew 6:25-30, the Lord breathes truth in my life (and yours) about worrying:

"Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable then they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you - you of little faith?"

this is so true! the Lord is going to take care of those things, He wants to take care of those things for me, He doesn't want me to waste my energy in worrying over something that He has complete control over... He wants me to trust Him. God wants me to learn to let go of my anxiety and stress and to just let Him take complete control of it.

at the Women's Retreat this past weekend, i had the opportunity to do just that, to let go of my concern and loosen the grip i had on my worry for money and where i was going to be living. friday night as i laid awake thinking about it, i finally let go and just let God take it from me. within minutes i was asleep. so the retreat came and went, by the end of it, i wasn't even thinking about money or where i was going to live in just a couple months.

the following day was Sunday, i woke up and went to church. a few friends of mine are moving to Columbus, and they are looking for some people to move into their house and rent it since the housing market is not at all worth attempting to sell. without getting high hopes, i emailed her and just let her know that my roommates and i would be interested in checking out their place if they are considering renting. the next day was Monday, i received a text message from my pastor, he wanted to know if we could meet Tuesday morning before i went into work... sure why not.

so Tuesday morning comes, and i went to the church office where Rev Kev offered me a part time job with the church, Children Ministries Director Intern, beginning this May. within hours, i got an email from my friend, Kelli, who is moving... she wanted to know if we could come and check out the house that night to see if we are interested in renting. in the last 24 hours, the Lord took care of me and answered my prayers. he provided money for while i'm a grad student, and an affordable roof over my head as well. the Lord is good! He takes care of His children, He does not want us to worry about life or the things we so easily worry about. He has us and He is not going to fail us, ever! His plan for us is so much bigger than what we could ever devise for ourselves (Eph 3:20).

so what about you...

what are you worrying about today? and is the worry worth it? maybe it's time to just let go.

broken bones and rolling leaves.

this morning i woke up in a delirious mess of chaos, this is typical. as i stumbled to the bathroom to begin my morning routine, i may have ran into my door frame, honestly, this too is typical. i turned on the shower, and then went back into my bedroom to gaze through my wardrobe, fumbling around to find a suitable outfit for the day, again typical... however, what is not typical is what i am about to share with you.

a few minutes after all of this, when i finally decided that the shower had more than likely reached a desirable temperature, i clambered back into the bathroom. one foot in the tub... correction, one foot on the slippery surface of the tub and the following sequence of events happened in slow motion....

one foot onto the slippery surface of the tub, left hand trying to regain balance with the shower curtain (this was poor choice number one). left hand met the shower curtain and clung to dear life, then pulled way too tightly (poor choice number two), shower curtain comes down like Niagra Falls right after a flood in Canada, and then the shower curtain rod hits me in the back of the head. i am knocked into the shower, i try to grab onto the wall for support (poor choice number three), however this is unsuccessful because the wall was wet, and also slippery.... so naturally, my hand looses against my body weight... face/head crashes into the side of the shower and down i go....

as the shower water continued to fall on my face as i lay there, i hear the man in the apartment above me say, "Holy Cow, I think she just fell in the shower!" yes - i may have been screaming when this unfortunate circumstances erupted. after about thirty seconds (which felt like a half hour) of laying in the bottom of my shower, one leg in one leg dangling over the tub side, neck turned in the most uncomfortable angle in life, i managed to buff up the courage to stand. (welcome final poor choice of the morning...) as i began to hoist myself up out of the awkward form my body was in, i was almost to my feet when i slipped once more, and my toe got caught in the drain.... and it broke. my foot bares witness to a whole new meaning of sausages for toes. you should see my toe, it's pitiful.

surprisingly still, i had an awesome day! :)

went to brookside, and then lunch with some dear friends. and today, instead of going to my typical spot at Panera, i ventured to City Park and joined all of the other sun indulgers on this beautiful day! first i spent some quality time with the Lord, then i took a nap... and then i created an "i wish grocery list", which consisted of things i would purchase if i had the money to do so.

as i laid there on my faithful tee shirt blanket, i couldn't help but be over come with the Lord's presence in the wind. one of my prayers today was that i would be able to see the Lord's presence while i was with him this afternoon, and believe it or not, but the God of the Universe revealed himself to me. i revealed himself to me in the power of the wind, in the brightness of the sun, in the rolling of the leaves, and in the gentleness of a mother pushing her son on a nearby swing. during my nap, in my dreams he was there, whispering, comforting, caring. the presence of the Lord was made known to me today, for real... how cool is that? how sweet it was to be cared for by our Savior like that today. just another way He is choosing to romance me and love me and take care of me. i enjoyed, and ravished in the love of that moment. i am blessed.

all in all today was perfect, minus the broken extremity that will just have to heal on its own.

today marks day 28 in the dress, four more days to go.... i wish i could say the same for the Daughters.

a couple of days ago, i new friend of mine sent me this video on Facebook, i'd like to share it with you today. this woman is beautiful and powerful. check out the site, and see how the Lord is moving through her...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KQ9xG3yWfw

here's the equation... the beautiful equation.

day 23.

wow. i honestly have no freaking clue how Amy is wearing the same dress for six months straight. i feel like that is so crazy. as i'm getting ready some mornings, i stare at my hoodies and jeans and yearn for their comfort.... i miss them. and then when i turn and look at my grey dress, sometimes i cringe... knowing what the weight of it means each day.

another day wearing the dress, just marks another day of young girls being traded into the sex trafficking industry. the weight is heavy.

i owe a lot to this dress though, i will say that. well... not just the dress actually, the book Captivating as well.... and yes - the Holy Spirit of course. so, i guess what i'm saying is, the perfect equation including these three factors, has given me a sum that i never would have imagined would have been the outcome. and i love it.

here's the equation:

1 dress 1 month + Captivating by John & Stasi Eldridge +the Holy Spirit = ???? the sum ????

1 dress 1 month

the one dress campaign, a project created to raise awareness for the Daughter Project as well as the organized crime of sex trafficking and child exploitation happening within our midst. i'm wearing one dress, yes the same grey dress, for one month, yep... that's 30 days. me, wearing a dress for a month straight? yes - this is a fact. it's been interesting, and i've had to be creative nonetheless. just check out my facebook.

Captivating by John & Stasi Eldridge

ok, so i'm not going to go into magnificent detail on this one, but basically i love this book! this is my second time reading it, and it's so good this time around! learning more about God's creation in women, that we are the crown of His creation, that we are beautiful, that we are a treasure to be cherished, that He is our ultimate romancer and lover with such a tender and warm heart.

the Holy Spirit

need i say more?

all of those things added in one equation...

=

a renewed heart and spirit in me. an attitude that is worthy of what my Creator is offering me. He helped me regain my femininity and really relish in my beauty as a woman through these things.... and through it, i've found such a solid delight in seeing that i am a beautiful woman, that i can embrace my femininity.

to all of my girlfriends out there, i encourage you to really dwell in a place where you will be able to allow the Lord to speak into your life and reveal your beauty to you. it's life altering once you realize just how beautiful you really are.