day one.

today marks the first day of me wearing one dress for one month. i wanted to take a picture and post it on here for you guys by my camera was being dumb. i think it's probably time for me to just get a new one, but realistically i can't afford it... and i never take pictures anymore. but a camera might motivate me to take more pics... ? hmmm, something to ponder.

so let me tell you about day one. it started at 4:30 am (lent agreement with God is still going strong!!), the alarm went off and I rolled out of bed. i've noticed that i am incredibly low functioning that early in the morning, so it literally takes me 20 mins to get my sweats and a tee shirt on, brush my teeth and leave me apartment. it's absurd. so this morning, in my time spent with Jesus i had the opportunity to pray for the Daughter Project, and for the lives of young girls who are victims of this horrible reality of sex trafficking. i continued to pray for them throughout my time at the Community Center, at one point while i was running i thought that i was going to have to stop and control my heart because i was so overcome with emotion for them.

when i got home, i went through the motions of my typically morning routine. pack my lunch, shower, do my hair, figure out what to wear..... figure out what to wear... there's usually freedom in that decision. freedom to choose which pair of jeans, or which cardigan... that's a freedom we all get every single morning, but that's not a freedom these girls get, the ones that are enslaved; whose youth, childhood, virtue, innocence, smiles, and laughter are stolen from them. those girls don't have those freedoms, who knows what piece of fabric or lack there of they are forced to pull on each day.

as i pulled the dress on over my head this morning, i felt the weight of this burden, their burden. i felt the weight of this cause, the ministry of the Daughter Project. the dress was heavy.

i did what i could (with the no fashion sense i have) to make this dress rock! i went to work, clocked in, and the first person to see me asked me if i had a job interview today or something, because i NEVER wear dresses to work. i chuckled and let her in on my not so secret, secret. you could see it in her face, the shock. as i continued to tell her about the Daughter Project's ministry, and stories of sex trafficking right in our backyard of Toledo, she interrupted me and said, "how much do you want? where do i give, can you take a check?" wow.... i wasn't even clocked into work for fifteen minutes, and already God was using this dress - well shoot, i don't think i even had the dress on a whole hour at that point. that's so unbelievable to me, to Him be the glory!

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I pray that interactions like this one happens more and more throughout my month, and not just for me, but for all of the women who have chosen to dedicate a month, or two months... or six. I pray that the young girls who are enslaved find their freedom from their darkness sooner rather than later, and I pray that when they see the light, they know that it's the Lord, offering them comfort and healing in a way they have never experienced it before. Father let them know they are loved and beautiful... let them know they are loved Jesus.

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tis the season.... of lent.

i wasn't raised catholic, or in a church that really practiced lent. of course, of course our church celebrated the Lent season with the five or six purple candles or whatever.... but the idea of sacrificing or giving something up for 40 days wasn't really talked about too much i don't think. or maybe it was and i just always tuned the pulpet guy out..... that's probably more realistic.

so Lent... for the first time in my life, i'm doing it. and not just to do it and say i'm giving this up... but i'm doing it and i mean it. to Him alone be the glory and praise! and trust me if i'm able to get through 40 days of doing this, it will be to His glory!

for the past several weeks i've began to notice that sleep has become not only a necessity in my life, but a guilty pleasure.... scratch that, we'll just go straight to the point, it's totally an idol. i care more about sleeping and going to bed early, waking up late, ect... ect... then i do about most things, it's sick. the other night i fell asleep at 10pm, it was glorious... until about 10:30pm... when the people upstairs were being RIDICULOUSLY loud and woke me up, from my slumber... you know what my response was? i started screaming at them, through the ceiling! i know they didn't hear me, but i kept screaming... i mean for crying out loud, seriously ashley? that was the turning point for me. that's when i knew that i was out of control.

looking back i just laugh at the thought of the other night, i was yelling at the ceiling. weirdo.

so in my attempt to get over this, i have decided that every morning from now until East Sunday, i will be waking up at 4:45am. ouch...... yep, that's correct, 4:45am. that gives me an hour to do some much needed cardio, but more importantly an hour to meditate in the Word and prayer. then off to work by 7:30.

this morning marked day 1, and let me tell you it was a success! my state of mind in approaching all of it was centered on Christ, and it needs to be in order for this to continue. i am not now... nor have i ever been a morning person... but sweet Jesus by the time Easter comes, He is going to make me one. i'll be sure to keep you posted on how this goes for me. i'm sure a post here and there will give updates.

ALSO - if you aren't participating in Lent just because you can't think of something to give up, or because you don't think that it would be because of God... well then i just want to take a minute to encourage you to rethink that, and really dig deep into your heart about what sacrifice means to you, and what it would mean to our Father if you chose to do it. i'm not saying, give something up tonight... maybe your lent won't start til Saturday, or May.... and you know to me right now that's ok. Lent is about celebrating the life, death, and resurrection of our Savior and being born new through His power. the practice of the 40 days of Lent is for His followers to honor Him and glorify His Name and sacrifice by giving something up that causes them to sacrifice. just because it's Lent now, doesn't mean this isn't something we should only practice this time of year, it's something to be celebrated all the time.

my prayer is that we as believers know this in our hearts, and desire to be men and women who act on our faith. that we take hold of our fears and the darkness they penetrate and conquer them with the power of the Holy Spirit through our actions and our prayers.

shout out to my girl Sophie, thanks for reading. i pray that you know how deeply loved you are by God, and that He shows you just how beautiful you are. love you friend. :)

adult lesson #58 (and still counting)

not sure where my parents dropped the ball on this one... maybe it should have come somewhere between how to fill the gas tank and when to stop filling your tires with air..... regardless, they failed to tell me this:

in the state of Ohio, you have to re-register your car on your birthday and get new tags. and here's the kicker... if you don't you get fined.

the cop informed me of this law this evening after he flicked on his lights and pulled me over about three feet away from my apartment complex.

sweet mom and dad.... sweet. on the bright side, the cop was cute.... my luck - probably married with three kids at home, but nonetheless adorable.

So... $100 to BG Municipal Courts this week, means I get to reschedule my hair appointment to next month and my Panera coffee treats are no limited to only two more visits this month.

Lesson of the day - start asking other adults more questions about being an adult instead of trying to figure it out by yourself, it's ok to ask for help.

No use crying over spilled milk.

If you could be any day of the week, which day would you be?

Sunday. It's the only day of the week that I actually enjoy waking up for, I cherish sleep entirely too much. I love waking up on Sunday mornings, the anticipation for what my day will bring is incomparable to any other day of the week for me. Starting with Brookside and being with my church family, embracing the glory of our Lord with community, and all that experience brings. I love not having any time obligations, and just enjoying the sabbath for what it is meant to be. Sundays guarantee at least one meal with friends. I just like everything about Sundays.

So today, I had the opportunity to do all of those things, and it was just so rich. I also took some time to do some productive studying/reading at Panera while enjoying a nice cup of Hazelnut coffee... love that stuff. While I was there, I couldn't resist... I took the opportunity to people watch, I know, typical. I love it though. Let me tell you today, was no let down either. One observation stuck with me all day today, a young girl eating lunch with her father. I'm going to assume that she was probably about six years old, and she was eating soup in a bread bowl. When her dad set the plate down in front of her, she picked up the bread bowl and attempted to lick the side where some of the soup spilled over the edge. As she was tilting the side of the bowl up, the scene played out in slow motion... she kept tilting the bowl up, the soup swam to the side, and then just like Niagra, the falls came.... Cheddar Broccoli soup gushed all over the table, and kept flowing... and flowing. By the time her dad had noticed what happened, all of the soup had spilt from the bread bowl and onto the table. I held my breath...

I remember when I was younger, I was the clumsiest child ever (some things never change), and it was a daily routine that I would reach for something on the table, and my milk glass would tumble and spill all over the main course, or into my mother's lap, or right onto the floor. I remember the look on my dad's face every time that happened... exhaustion and frustration, his lips would flatten, eyes would tighten and that's when I knew.... become as small as you possibly could, because you were in trouble... big trouble.

When this young girl's father saw what happened, he looked at the mess, and looked at her with a blank expression... she was on the verge of tears behind her thick purple rimmed glasses, her cheeks were beginning to pink. Without a second thought, her father placed his hand on arm and smiled. With no words, he took his napkin and wiped off her face with some soup residue that was lingering from where she had licked the side of the bread bowl. Then he said to her, "Hey little missy, don't worry your pretty little face off, I'll take care of it." and then smiled.

What a beautiful illustration of a father's love for his daughter... for the Father's love for his daughters. When we mess up, or fall short, the Lord is there wiping off our faces first, tending to our needs and caring for us first, before ever focusing His attention to the mess that we made. He cares about the well being of our hearts and souls and emotions more than anything. He's always prepared with napkin in hand to wipe off our faces, and say beautiful. Zephaniah 3:17 says, "The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, in His love He will no longer rebuke you, and He will rejoice over you with singing." How encouraging is it to hear that the ultimate Father views us just like that? Breathtaking.

Please do not think by the story I shared in regards to my childhood and spilling milk was how my dad always was and is.... because that would certainly be the worst impression of him. My father is just human, not God. He's actually the best dad a girl could ever ask for, sweet Lord I'm tearing up just writing this. Knowing in my heart that my father is awesome, and loves me so much, that he would do anything for me, even when I spilled milk at dinner makes it difficult for me to think that our Heavenly Father could love me more than that.... but He does.

I love learning more and more about the Father's love for me. I love that I see His love played out daily in my life and in the lives of others, including strangers at Panera. I'm looking forward to this week, and seeing how God's love shows up... and I think I owe my dad a phone call, remind him that I love him.

The Search Begins...

Here I am again. Every year, around this time, I begin the search... the search to find my next living situation. For the last six years that I have lived in Bowling Green, I have lived in a different place. I know more about property managers, old houses, and apartment complexes than I care to know about. But, this year is no different, I'm searching again.

This time I will only have one roomie, my new dear friend, Katie Barnett. We've talked about what we both want in a place to live. We share the desire to love and serve our friends in our home through the avenue of entertaining. So last week I started looking around and seeing what is available for rent. I made a couple of calls to different property managers and landlords who some of my friends rent from, no availabilities til August. Shucks.... we need a place in late May. So I turned to the Sentinel, something about going through a private owner instead of a business or whatever, is just way more attractive to me. I honestly think that private owners care more about the property, the well-being of the home, the tenants that they lease to, and everything in between.

So I checked out a few different places this week, and I told Katie I'd report back to her with anything that I thought she'd like. One place was cool, kind of spacious for just two people, and the gas bills could have been a bit too much. This other place smelled like cats and stale smoke, similar to my great aunt Clara's home, so a definite no. But then, there was this really cool place I just saw this afternoon, I liked it a lot. It's an vintage victorian style house on Main Street in BG, it's a duplex, and the upstairs apartment is available for rent. Two spacious bedrooms, large living area, big bathroom, and cozy kitchen with an upstairs porch to relax on.

I met the landlords this afternoon, and they are the cutest couple ever. Really neat characters, and I can tell that they care about the property after I talked to them. I know I shouldn't get my hopes up about it.... but I really hope that this apartment works out, and Katie likes it. She's out of town until next week, so between now and then I'm just going to keep my fingers crossed, hoping that they don't rent it out to someone else in the mean time.

I hope that this stage of life, transitioning from place to place, stops soon. I really hope that wherever it is that I move to next, that I am there for awhile. I'm tired of moving, it's exhausting, and not my cup of tea. So we shall see. That's all that's really new for me though. I'll be sure to keep you all posted on what happens next.

No new updates on Stella, except I think that she'll be coming to the Women's Weekend. :)

yay!