home.

Home. 


What is home... where is home... ? I feel like over the last seven years of my life I have been asking myself this question often. Is home Columbus, where my parents are? Where the house is that I grew up in? Where my childhood and adolescent memories are?


Or is home here, in BG? Where I have spent the last seven years of my life, investing my life into the community here, and the people... and finding my niche... ? 


I think that after years of searching, I finally found the place that I call home. It makes sense why it took me so long to figure it out, especially since both places hold such beautiful places in my heart, that are deeply rooted. But... now, after much thought and shaping of my heart I've realized where I want my home to be. Here. :)




Home 
by Michael Buble


Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky, I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home

blindness.

I was reading through the book of John today, and I came upon chapter 9 where we learn about the story of Jesus healing a blind man. Can you imagine what life would be like if you were blind.... and then all of a sudden one day you could see? Hurts my eyes kind of just to think about it.... a smudge of pain just because I know how much I hate opening my eyes in the morning when it's bright outside. I couldn't imagine opening my eyes for the first time and experiencing the bright light of the sun, not to mention the radiance of the Son, and the life He has to offer when we can completely see.

Blindness, interesting....

So, by now I'm sure you're all probably well aware that I am dating someone... yes, this girl finally has a boyfriend - a really good one too. Some of you may have thought this day would never come, don't worry - I was with you in that camp. It's still weird to think about sometimes. After being single for well over the majority of my life I became used to it, and not just used to it but familiar with it, and I grew to really enjoy it. Through the hardships and bumpy roads along the way, I learned what it meant to be romanced by the Lord, to be fully dependent on the Father, and to be enthralled by the King. I began to crave date nights with Jehovah, not anyone else really. I got to a point where I was so thankful and excited to be where I was with the Lord and embracing my singleness completely as Paul suggests that I honestly went blind to prospects around me.

When Ryan and I started dating, I'm going to be honest... there was a bit of pain that came with the fun, happiness, and excitement. I had to put my singleness to death for awhile... potentially a long while. Even though dating this great man has been more than I could have ever asked for, I still feel a twinge of pain for letting go of being single - for letting go of the life that Paul strongly suggests we embrace and dwell in for the Kingdom and for our Savior. I was living it as best I knew how, and I was enjoying it. Then when this all happened, I had to let it go - a bit of pain. Just a little, not a lot.

Even though there was that little bit of pain... I can promise you I would do it all over the same way again.... and again.... and again.... ..... and again....

Oh, right so about this blindness, I was getting somewhere with it....

For those of you who know me well, might be familiar with the story of how Ryan (my main squeeze) and I started dating a couple months ago. However, what you may not know is the back story, because I didn't even know about it until recently. Ryan became attracted to me in August, and then started to pursue me in October... which was FIVE months before I realized it. Now that I know this piece of the puzzle, I look back on those five months and I can recall several different text messages from him, a Facebook status here or there and even his efforts in trying to talk to me on Sunday mornings.... and I continued to just dismiss all of it. I am an idiot. I had no clue he was interested in me. Even after he intentionally asked me if he could become a volunteer for Brookside Kids, I still didn't realize his tactics - along with his desire to serve our Church. I never realized how blind I was to it all until I look back, and just recall it all. I was so focused on school, and Brookside, and work... that I literally almost missed out on potentially the best thing that could ever happen to me (only second to my salvation through the Cross).

It's amazing what we miss out on when are so engulfed in our own lives. Had Ryan not been patient and persistent in his pursuing me, I'm not really sure it would have happened. I would have missed out because I was blind.

Questions to ponder.... 
What are some of the things you are engulfed in within your own life? Are these things distracting you and blinding you from something that the Lord has in store for you? If so, are you willing to take a risk and put those things on hold to clear your lenses and see what the Lord is offering you? Just try it... I think it will be worth it - I know it was for me.

Take risks. Give it a chance. Let the Lord surprise you, because He offers some beautiful surprises.
Don't walk around choosing to be blind.... the man in John 9 didn't, so why should we.