tulipbushes & faith trees.

Last week in one of my classes, we were asked to do an activity where we had to relax close our eyes and imagine ourselves walking down a path towards a rosebush. In our minds we had to create what kind of rosebush we were, what type of environment were we living in, what was going on around us, what was the weather like... ect. In the counseling world, this is an activity that can be used to distinguish part of the emotional state the person is in, and where they see themselves.

Our professor did this activity to show us how it can be helpful for us when we are counseling, but to be honest, I found it helpful for my own reflection. To left you will see the picture I drew of my rosebush. Well, it's more like a tulip-bush, which I didn't understand why I drew tulips at first, but now I get it. To be honest with you, I wasn't really sure why I chose to draw most of what I actually did in this picture until a couple of days later when I was able to really reflect on picture. Let me set the scene for you... My tulip-bush is in the middle of a dry and some what desserted desert, the sun is rising brining heat. There is no water around. The leaves of the bush are beginning to turn brown, withering in the heat, and lack of water. A prickly cactus and some crunchy tumbleweeds are it's only company.

I feel like a week ago, this was a fairly accurate representation of my emotional and spiritual life. Dry, in a desert, alone... yet there was still hope, which is where the tulip-bush idea comes into play. My FAVORITE part about spring is the tulips, and if there are purple ones, that's even better. A tulip gives me hope for a new season, hope for beauty, hope for life, and hope for a promise. In the midst of walking through a desert, I still have hope and trust that my mana will be provided and the Promise Land is near. I am typically a reflective person, but my counseling classes have certainly encouraged me to become even more reflective lately.

I was sharing this with a friend via email, and as I was typing I decided that I wanted to blog about it too.... because I believe that this aspect of my journey may be relevant to yours as well...

The other day I heard a married guy say something that kind of resinate with my soul a little. He was referencing his own marriage, however I was able to apply it to my journey with the Lord right now. He said, (something of the like...) "Sometimes in marriage the relationship isn't always about emotion and love and happiness, there's hardships all couple face. That's when we realize that marriage is a committment, it's a choice, and we keep moving forward with it and working through the hardships, until those emotions come back, and they will come back it just takes time sometimes." When he said that I feel like a light bulb turned on in my head... something I've always known, finally clicked. My relationship to Christ is a marriage. It's a committment I made years ago, I'm not walking away, and He certainly isn't either. At times it's been awesome and great, FULL of love, romance, and comfort, ect... and now it's just one of those hard times, where I have to rely on the committment, I have to rely on faith.

It was certainly one of those DUH! moments, you know? I mean, this is something that I've known for years. I've learned it, and relearned it countless times in Young Life, at church, from my own dad, other people in my community, and heck - I've even been the one to teach it to the girls I have discipled. However, I honestly haven't ever really needed to apply it to my own life because my walk with God so far has been daily FULL of emotion unitl the last several months.

I know that there is a different between knowing something in my head (because a book or someone else told me about it) and experiencing it through life circumstances. Knowledge is great, but when we have the life experiences to run alongside of it, that's where I think the Lord blesses us with wisdom.

The tree of FAITH isn't something that's completely thriving on the "honeymoon stage" of emotions, seed might have been planted bceause of that... but the tree of FAITH has it's roots grounded and secure in committment. No matter how strong theh branches get, how ripe the fruit may be, or how fierce the winds begin to blow, the roots will always be safe and secure in the committment I have made. Today, I'm finding peace in that.