home is where the heart is

how often does this phrase pop up in life: home is where the heart is.... often, i know. i feel like in my mom's kitchen there are at least three different magnets hanging on the frig with that exact phrase.

i was home this past weekend, just for the day on saturday, and it was so great. i was having so much fun with my family, and with my two close friends. it made me really miss being in Columbus, a lot. so much that the entire way home on saturday night i was wondering what life would be like if i lived in Columbus again. dreaming, wishing... hoping. praying for God to reveal His will. but then, as i was approaching BG on 75, i came around a slight bend. it's the spot of 75 that i love the most, because once you get to that bend the city of Bowling Green's water tower (one of six in this town) is finally revealed, and my first thought is always: "ahh, yes. i'm home."

and in that moment, i realized that my heart was literally torn in two pieces in regards to where my home is, Columbus and Bowling Green. this has never happened. i feel like when i made the switch in my heart from Columbus being my home to BG being my home, it was clear and concise, there wasn't any confusion. but now, i feel like i'm back peddling and longing for the home and comfort that Columbus offers me.

for so long BG has been the "safe zone" for me. i feel safe here because i know this place, i have friends here, my church is here, i have a job here, there's security in my life here in BG. if i ever moved back to Columbus, i would have to recreate my life down there, start over, start fresh.... i'm not sure that's an adventure i really want to do alone, as a single woman. and the idea of it all scares me.

i know i'm in BG for another two years, and i am happy and thankful for that. but what happens at the end of Grad School, at the end of two years... when life is there knocking again, and giving me a much needed reality check. hmm... i think i am really learning to appreciate why the Lord keeps most things a secret from us until the perfect time for us to know. it's because it's people like me who over think things, and just want to get it all figured out right away. and, where would the faith be in that?

my heart belongs to the Lord. home is where the heart is... if i'm going to find home, then i need to look at Christ first, and then i will find where i need to be and what i should be looking for. i encourage you to do the same, in case you're looking for your home.