i feel like it's human nature to worry over things, but honestly i feel like women worry WAY MORE than men do... or we at least make our anxiety more known. most of us wear our emotions on our faces and carry our burdens on our shoulders like as if it's Santa's sack of gifts. i confess, i'm no different. when i'm worried about something, anxious, concerned... people know.
so two months ago i was worried about money. why money? ashley - don't you have a full time job, and haven't you been able to independently provide for yourself quite well for the past year and a half? yes, the Lord has blessed me with a job, and He has blessed me with being able to budget my money as well as I possibly can as an independent single woman - and for that i am incredibly thankful. my money concern was more for the future, in about four months when i become a Graduate student and quit my full time job, yes - that is where my worry kicks in. the unknown of where the money will come from, how i will pay for my bills, support the roof over my head, pay for my car payment.... and even more, how would i pay for Graduate school?
then, soon enough the intense search for a home began. once i realized i wasn't going to have the money to stay in my little one bedroom apartment again next year, i realized i was going to have to move. so i decided to move in with some roommates to cut back on my living expenses at least. which meant, house hunting began. naturally, i kicked into turbo mode and started looking everywhere for our perfect place. words can't express how many For Rent signs and postings in the Sentinel Classifieds i called just to get the best place asking the best for rent for us girls. as time progressed i began to get really frustrated and worried. frustrated because i felt like every plan i had was killed by some corrupt joke of life, and worried because time was ticking by so quickly and there weren't many places to choose from since they were getting snatched up so fast. so, the worry took over...
in matthew 6:25-30, the Lord breathes truth in my life (and yours) about worrying:
"Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable then they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you - you of little faith?"
this is so true! the Lord is going to take care of those things, He wants to take care of those things for me, He doesn't want me to waste my energy in worrying over something that He has complete control over... He wants me to trust Him. God wants me to learn to let go of my anxiety and stress and to just let Him take complete control of it.
at the Women's Retreat this past weekend, i had the opportunity to do just that, to let go of my concern and loosen the grip i had on my worry for money and where i was going to be living. friday night as i laid awake thinking about it, i finally let go and just let God take it from me. within minutes i was asleep. so the retreat came and went, by the end of it, i wasn't even thinking about money or where i was going to live in just a couple months.
the following day was Sunday, i woke up and went to church. a few friends of mine are moving to Columbus, and they are looking for some people to move into their house and rent it since the housing market is not at all worth attempting to sell. without getting high hopes, i emailed her and just let her know that my roommates and i would be interested in checking out their place if they are considering renting. the next day was Monday, i received a text message from my pastor, he wanted to know if we could meet Tuesday morning before i went into work... sure why not.
so Tuesday morning comes, and i went to the church office where Rev Kev offered me a part time job with the church, Children Ministries Director Intern, beginning this May. within hours, i got an email from my friend, Kelli, who is moving... she wanted to know if we could come and check out the house that night to see if we are interested in renting. in the last 24 hours, the Lord took care of me and answered my prayers. he provided money for while i'm a grad student, and an affordable roof over my head as well. the Lord is good! He takes care of His children, He does not want us to worry about life or the things we so easily worry about. He has us and He is not going to fail us, ever! His plan for us is so much bigger than what we could ever devise for ourselves (Eph 3:20).
so what about you...
what are you worrying about today? and is the worry worth it? maybe it's time to just let go.
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