here's the equation... the beautiful equation.

day 23.

wow. i honestly have no freaking clue how Amy is wearing the same dress for six months straight. i feel like that is so crazy. as i'm getting ready some mornings, i stare at my hoodies and jeans and yearn for their comfort.... i miss them. and then when i turn and look at my grey dress, sometimes i cringe... knowing what the weight of it means each day.

another day wearing the dress, just marks another day of young girls being traded into the sex trafficking industry. the weight is heavy.

i owe a lot to this dress though, i will say that. well... not just the dress actually, the book Captivating as well.... and yes - the Holy Spirit of course. so, i guess what i'm saying is, the perfect equation including these three factors, has given me a sum that i never would have imagined would have been the outcome. and i love it.

here's the equation:

1 dress 1 month + Captivating by John & Stasi Eldridge +the Holy Spirit = ???? the sum ????

1 dress 1 month

the one dress campaign, a project created to raise awareness for the Daughter Project as well as the organized crime of sex trafficking and child exploitation happening within our midst. i'm wearing one dress, yes the same grey dress, for one month, yep... that's 30 days. me, wearing a dress for a month straight? yes - this is a fact. it's been interesting, and i've had to be creative nonetheless. just check out my facebook.

Captivating by John & Stasi Eldridge

ok, so i'm not going to go into magnificent detail on this one, but basically i love this book! this is my second time reading it, and it's so good this time around! learning more about God's creation in women, that we are the crown of His creation, that we are beautiful, that we are a treasure to be cherished, that He is our ultimate romancer and lover with such a tender and warm heart.

the Holy Spirit

need i say more?

all of those things added in one equation...

=

a renewed heart and spirit in me. an attitude that is worthy of what my Creator is offering me. He helped me regain my femininity and really relish in my beauty as a woman through these things.... and through it, i've found such a solid delight in seeing that i am a beautiful woman, that i can embrace my femininity.

to all of my girlfriends out there, i encourage you to really dwell in a place where you will be able to allow the Lord to speak into your life and reveal your beauty to you. it's life altering once you realize just how beautiful you really are.

day one.

today marks the first day of me wearing one dress for one month. i wanted to take a picture and post it on here for you guys by my camera was being dumb. i think it's probably time for me to just get a new one, but realistically i can't afford it... and i never take pictures anymore. but a camera might motivate me to take more pics... ? hmmm, something to ponder.

so let me tell you about day one. it started at 4:30 am (lent agreement with God is still going strong!!), the alarm went off and I rolled out of bed. i've noticed that i am incredibly low functioning that early in the morning, so it literally takes me 20 mins to get my sweats and a tee shirt on, brush my teeth and leave me apartment. it's absurd. so this morning, in my time spent with Jesus i had the opportunity to pray for the Daughter Project, and for the lives of young girls who are victims of this horrible reality of sex trafficking. i continued to pray for them throughout my time at the Community Center, at one point while i was running i thought that i was going to have to stop and control my heart because i was so overcome with emotion for them.

when i got home, i went through the motions of my typically morning routine. pack my lunch, shower, do my hair, figure out what to wear..... figure out what to wear... there's usually freedom in that decision. freedom to choose which pair of jeans, or which cardigan... that's a freedom we all get every single morning, but that's not a freedom these girls get, the ones that are enslaved; whose youth, childhood, virtue, innocence, smiles, and laughter are stolen from them. those girls don't have those freedoms, who knows what piece of fabric or lack there of they are forced to pull on each day.

as i pulled the dress on over my head this morning, i felt the weight of this burden, their burden. i felt the weight of this cause, the ministry of the Daughter Project. the dress was heavy.

i did what i could (with the no fashion sense i have) to make this dress rock! i went to work, clocked in, and the first person to see me asked me if i had a job interview today or something, because i NEVER wear dresses to work. i chuckled and let her in on my not so secret, secret. you could see it in her face, the shock. as i continued to tell her about the Daughter Project's ministry, and stories of sex trafficking right in our backyard of Toledo, she interrupted me and said, "how much do you want? where do i give, can you take a check?" wow.... i wasn't even clocked into work for fifteen minutes, and already God was using this dress - well shoot, i don't think i even had the dress on a whole hour at that point. that's so unbelievable to me, to Him be the glory!

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I pray that interactions like this one happens more and more throughout my month, and not just for me, but for all of the women who have chosen to dedicate a month, or two months... or six. I pray that the young girls who are enslaved find their freedom from their darkness sooner rather than later, and I pray that when they see the light, they know that it's the Lord, offering them comfort and healing in a way they have never experienced it before. Father let them know they are loved and beautiful... let them know they are loved Jesus.

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tis the season.... of lent.

i wasn't raised catholic, or in a church that really practiced lent. of course, of course our church celebrated the Lent season with the five or six purple candles or whatever.... but the idea of sacrificing or giving something up for 40 days wasn't really talked about too much i don't think. or maybe it was and i just always tuned the pulpet guy out..... that's probably more realistic.

so Lent... for the first time in my life, i'm doing it. and not just to do it and say i'm giving this up... but i'm doing it and i mean it. to Him alone be the glory and praise! and trust me if i'm able to get through 40 days of doing this, it will be to His glory!

for the past several weeks i've began to notice that sleep has become not only a necessity in my life, but a guilty pleasure.... scratch that, we'll just go straight to the point, it's totally an idol. i care more about sleeping and going to bed early, waking up late, ect... ect... then i do about most things, it's sick. the other night i fell asleep at 10pm, it was glorious... until about 10:30pm... when the people upstairs were being RIDICULOUSLY loud and woke me up, from my slumber... you know what my response was? i started screaming at them, through the ceiling! i know they didn't hear me, but i kept screaming... i mean for crying out loud, seriously ashley? that was the turning point for me. that's when i knew that i was out of control.

looking back i just laugh at the thought of the other night, i was yelling at the ceiling. weirdo.

so in my attempt to get over this, i have decided that every morning from now until East Sunday, i will be waking up at 4:45am. ouch...... yep, that's correct, 4:45am. that gives me an hour to do some much needed cardio, but more importantly an hour to meditate in the Word and prayer. then off to work by 7:30.

this morning marked day 1, and let me tell you it was a success! my state of mind in approaching all of it was centered on Christ, and it needs to be in order for this to continue. i am not now... nor have i ever been a morning person... but sweet Jesus by the time Easter comes, He is going to make me one. i'll be sure to keep you posted on how this goes for me. i'm sure a post here and there will give updates.

ALSO - if you aren't participating in Lent just because you can't think of something to give up, or because you don't think that it would be because of God... well then i just want to take a minute to encourage you to rethink that, and really dig deep into your heart about what sacrifice means to you, and what it would mean to our Father if you chose to do it. i'm not saying, give something up tonight... maybe your lent won't start til Saturday, or May.... and you know to me right now that's ok. Lent is about celebrating the life, death, and resurrection of our Savior and being born new through His power. the practice of the 40 days of Lent is for His followers to honor Him and glorify His Name and sacrifice by giving something up that causes them to sacrifice. just because it's Lent now, doesn't mean this isn't something we should only practice this time of year, it's something to be celebrated all the time.

my prayer is that we as believers know this in our hearts, and desire to be men and women who act on our faith. that we take hold of our fears and the darkness they penetrate and conquer them with the power of the Holy Spirit through our actions and our prayers.

shout out to my girl Sophie, thanks for reading. i pray that you know how deeply loved you are by God, and that He shows you just how beautiful you are. love you friend. :)